Question: We understand that in relation to Bhagavan Kṛṣṇa, everybody is female. He is the only male. How does this play out in the context of genders and the concept of masculine and feminine?
Answer: This is a different concept and should not be mixed with our understanding of the words “male” and “female.” The difference between sex and gender is that sex is a biological concept based on biological characteristics, such as the differences in genitalia in males and females. Gender, on the other hand, primarily deals with personal, societal, and cultural perceptions of sexuality.
But when it is said that Kṛṣṇa is the only male and everyone else is a female, it means that Kṛṣṇa is śaktimān or “the possessor of all potencies” and everyone else is His “potency.” One with potency is designated as “male,” and the potencies are described as “female.” This implies certain things. He is the controller of His potency, and we are controlled. His potencies are meant for His pleasure. Thus it is said that Kṛṣṇa is the only male because He is the Supreme Śaktimān. He is the enjoyer, and all others who are His devotees—male or female—are for His pleasure. Because a male devotee is also trying to give service to Kṛṣṇa, he wants to give pleasure to Him so that He can enjoy. He also thinks, “I am meant to serve Kṛṣṇa,” meaning, “I want to be enjoyed by Him.” The only thing is that this duality of enjoyer and enjoyed does not exist in the spiritual world.
On the spiritual level, the enjoyed is also the enjoyer. Although the gopīs are the enjoyed and Kṛṣṇa is the enjoyer, the gopīs enjoy more than Kṛṣṇa. That is the meaning of being free from duality. In this material world, whether a man or a woman, both are trying to enjoy each other. Both have the mood of an enjoyer. In the spiritual world, Kṛṣṇa does not think of Himself as the enjoyer—He thinks of Himself as the devotee of His devotee. In the material world, the male likes to dominate the female, and he has the ego that he is the enjoyer; therefore, he is the aggressor and plays the dominant role. But in the spiritual world—and that is the very definition of love—when the gopīs are loving Kṛṣṇa, they are the subject of love, and Kṛṣṇa is the object of love. So they give Him pleasure, and in doing so, they get more pleasure than He. So that is one side of the equation. But then, what is Kṛṣṇa’s thinking? Kṛṣṇa also loves the gopīs. So when He loves the gopīs, He is the subject of love, and the gopīs are the object of love. That means that He does every activity to give pleasure to the gopīs, and by giving pleasure to them, He receives pleasure. Unlike in the material world where men and women are both trying to enjoy independently, no one is trying to enjoy independently in the spiritual world. God is also trying to give pleasure; that is why Kṛṣṇa is not God; He is not thinking, “I am God.”
In the material world, there is a competition as to who can enjoy more; similarly, in the spiritual world, there is a competition as to who can give more enjoyment. So Kṛṣṇa is trying His best to give enjoyment to the gopīs, and the gopīs are trying their best to give pleasure to Him. This way, there is no problem or clash. But here in the material world, a man is trying to enjoy, and so is his wife or girlfriend. Therefore, there is a clash. Externally, it looks as if Kṛṣṇa is the enjoyer and the gopīs are enjoyed, but their mood is to give mutual pleasure. That is the very definition of love.
This is true not only in the case of gopīs and Kṛṣṇa but also with all other devotees. Thus we see Kṛṣṇa driving the chariot of Arjuna. He wants to do so out of love for His devotee and feels happy doing this. He wants to give as much service as possible to His friend Arjuna and feels pleasure doing so. It is not a burden to serve His devotees. Bhagavān bhakta bhaktiman—“God is the devotee of His devotee.” The devotee feels, “I am the devotee of my God,” and God feels, “I am the devotee of My devotee.” The devotee thinks, “I am nothing but a servant of my master,” and the master thinks, “I am no master; I am the servant.” God is considered supremely independent as the Supreme Controller—īśvaraḥ paramaḥ kṛṣṇaḥ. Krsna, however, says,
ahaṁ bhakta-parādhīno
hy asvatantra iva dvija
sādhubhir grasta-hṛdayo
bhaktair bhakta-jana-priyaḥ
“I am not independent. I am under the control of My devotees. They control my heart because they are so dear to Me. Like a good wife controls a good husband, I am controlled by My devotee.” That is the dealing going on between Kṛṣṇa and the gopīs. There is no ego trip nor any pride there. And if they sometimes make proud statements, it is just in fun.
So now try to imagine this dynamic, that the person you love is constantly worrying about you and how to please you, and you are trying to do the same for him—how wonderful would that be? It would be purely pleasurable from beginning to end because both compete to give happiness. The competition is not for enjoying oneself. The competition is, “How can I give pleasure? How can I give more pleasure?” All the time, this is in the mind and consciousness. This is the beauty of this love. There are so many statements in śastra depicting this.
When Uddhava came to Vrindavan, he came with a message to console the residents. He told the gopīs that they should fix their mind on their duties and take it away from Kṛṣṇa. They should know that Kṛṣṇa is God who is omnipresent and thus worship Him. The gopīs were saying, “How is this possible? Oh Uddhava, we have only one mind, and that has gone with Kṛṣṇa, so how can we worship now?” They also said that Kṛṣṇa is a thief. “He has stolen our mind, manohara. He has taken our mind away, so what can we do?” This is what they told Uddhava: “It is Kṛṣṇa who is our Śyāma; Kṛṣṇa is our body; Kṛṣṇa is our mind; Kṛṣṇa is our wealth.” They said, “24 hours a day, we think only about Kṛṣṇa and nothing else. It is He who is in our hearts; He is our life, and without Him, there is no life. For us, He is like the stick of a blind man. It is only by His name that we are surviving. He is our destination; He is our intelligence; He is our master; He is our happiness; He is our beauty.” And then they said, “Uddhava, you are a fool. You are stupid! You come running here with this letter, preaching that we should meditate. Where are we going to focus our meditation? In every pore of our body, there is only Śyāma. Wherever we look, we only see Kṛṣṇa. If we close our eyes, we see Kṛṣṇa; if we open our eyes, we see Kṛṣṇa; if we fall asleep, we dream about Him. And you are saying, ‘Don’t think of Kṛṣṇa; meditate.’ Are you in your right mind? Do you even know what love is?”
Uddhava was shocked. He thought that he would preach to these simple village girls since he had heard from Kṛṣṇa how the gopīs love Kṛṣṇa and suffer because He is not there in Vrindavan. Uddhava came intending to console the gopīs but trembled when he saw their state of mind. He could not believe that anyone could be so intensely in love. And it is not that they were saying this; the gopīs were actually like that. So as Kṛṣṇa Himself says in Bhagavad Gītā 6.30: yo māṁ paśyati sarvatra sarvaṁ ca mayi paśyati tasyāhaṁ na praṇaśyāmi sa ca me na praṇaśyati, “For one who sees Me everywhere and sees everything in Me, I am never lost to him, and he is never lost to Me.”
After seeing this, Uddhava says, āsām aho caraṇa-reṇu-juṣām (SB 10.47. 61). He spoke in great surprise, “Oh great wonder, I would like to be just one dust particle at the feet of the gopīs.” He is not even praying to become a dust particle at their feet. He continues, “If I can become some creeper, some blade of grass here in Vrindavan so that when the gopīs walk, the dust from their feet will fall on my head, I will feel blessed.” This is the prayer He recited when he was leaving Vrindavan after being educated in love.
Then Uddhava went back to Dvārakā and told Kṛṣṇa, “Why are you not going to Vrindavan? The gopīs are suffering so much, please go and help them.” Uddhava, who came in royal dress, changed and put on the dress of a cowherd boy and then went to Kṛṣṇa, addressing Him as “Gopāla.” Uddhava forgot that in Dvārakā Kṛṣṇa is Yadupati and Yādava. He said to Kṛṣṇa, “Why have You come here? I cannot believe You left Vrindavan and are sitting here in Dvārakā. Why have You left Vrindavan?” He actually fell at the feet of Kṛṣṇa and cried. He said, “Please, what are You doing here?” Because He had seen the plight of the gopīs, how much separation they felt. It touched his heart so much that he cried like a child and begged Kṛṣṇa, “Why can’t You go to Vrindavan? These gopīs are surviving only because of Your name, and You don’t want to go there? My dear Kṛṣṇa, please, I beg You a million times; go to Vrindavan. That is the place of love. What are You doing with these Yādavas here? All these proud people think they are princes and so on. And the Vraja residents are suffering in separation from You. Give up everything and go to Vrindavan!” He requested Him again and again.
When Kṛṣṇa heard this, even He started crying. He shed tears from both His eyes and became so overwhelmed that He lost consciousness. He became overwhelmed by the love of the gopīs. Kṛṣṇa cried and called out, “Gopī, Gopī!” (This is what Mahāprabhu was doing. People did not understand why Caitanya Mahāprabhu would cry and say, “Gopī, Gopī!” People thought He had gone mad.) Kṛṣṇa was only thinking of the gopīs, of Rādhā. And He was not able to answer Uddhava. Kṛṣṇa could not utter one word. He could not say, “Yes, I will go,” or “No, I will not go.” This is the love of the gopīs—that even the master of the three worlds, Kṛṣṇa—whom Brahma, Śiva, and everyone in the universe worships—cries like a child thinking of the gopīs. When Kṛṣṇa finally came to His senses, He said to Uddhava: “Now you are finding fault with Me? I sent you as a messenger. Instead of being My messenger, you have become their messenger! This is a big mistake on My part.” And then He says, “Calm down and just stay here. There is no difference between them and Me. Look at Me, and you will see Rādhā and the gopīs here.” Then Kṛṣṇa showed within Himself the gopīs, and only then was Uddhava pacified. Otherwise, Uddhava could not contain himself.
Therefore, that love is not a one-way affair—that the gopīs love Him and are surrendered to Him while He is just enjoying. Sometimes, people say, “Why shall we surrender to Kṛṣṇa? We will lose our freedom.” I don’t know what type of freedom they are talking about; there is no freedom here. But they think that there is. It is not that we lose our freedom but that the most accessible, independent person comes under our control. So just as the gopīs meditate on Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa also meditates on them. What to speak of the gopīs, He is also meditating on His other devotees.
When the Kurukṣetra war was over and the Pandavas had won, Kṛṣṇa stayed with them for a while. He did not leave immediately because Yudhiṣṭhira refused to sit on the throne. So every day, Kṛṣṇa used to come in the morning to see Yudhiṣṭhira, and they would sit and talk. One day, He was late, and Yudhiṣṭhira was worried why Kṛṣṇa had not come. “Is something wrong?” he thought. Because when you love someone, you are always anxious about that person’s well-being. And you may be apprehensive that something may happen to him. So Yudhiṣṭhira was waiting and waiting. It was not customary for a king to walk here and there, but he couldn’t contain himself; he went to Kṛṣṇa’s room. When he arrived there, he was surprised to see that Kṛṣṇa was sitting and meditating. Yudhiṣṭhira wondered, “Everyone meditates on Him. He is the object of meditation, but on whom is He meditating?” He stood there silently, waiting for Kṛṣṇa to open His eyes. When He did open His eyes and saw Yudhiṣṭhira standing there, Kṛṣṇa immediately stood up and paid respect to Him because Yudhiṣṭhira was His cousin and senior to Him. And then He asked him, “Why are you standing here?” Yudhiṣṭhira replied, “I was waiting for You, and I didn’t know what happened or why You were so late, so I came to You. But now I have a question for You.” And Kṛṣṇa said, “Yes?”
“Everyone meditates on you; on whom are You meditating?” Then Kṛṣṇa started smiling. And said, “I am meditating on Bhīṣma.” At that time, Bhīṣma was still alive, lying on a bed of arrows. So Yudhiṣṭhira wanted to know, “Why are You meditating on Bhīṣma? He is not God or somebody.” And Kṛṣṇa answered, “Well, he is lying there and meditating on Me. Therefore, I also meditate on him. I reciprocate with my devotees.” So Kṛṣṇa meditated even on a devotee like Bhisma, who fought against Kṛṣṇa and shot arrows at Him. That is not easy to understand. If He could meditate on Bhīṣma, then think how much more He must meditate on the gopīs. That is why His queens were troubled.
One night, Satyabhāmā, one of the principal queens, heard Kṛṣṇa calling out, “Rādhe Rādhe!” in His sleep. Now, it is very disturbing to a wife if her husband cries out another woman’s name! So Satyabhāmā was very disturbed. And then Kṛṣṇa was mumbling something about Rādhā. In the morning, when He woke, Satyabhāmā asked Him, “Why are You calling ‘Rādhe Rādhe’ in Your sleep?” Kṛṣṇa did not say anything; He kept quiet. So she asked again. Then He said, “You cannot understand, so it is better not to ask.” Satyabhāmā did not press, but obviously, she had heard about Rādhā, and so she asked Him, “Is this the same Rādhā who lives in Vrindavan, or is it some other Rādhā?” Kṛṣṇa did not want to reply, but it was impossible to avoid Satyabhāmā’s question. So He replied, “Yes, it is the same [Rādhā.]” That was a relief for Satyabhāmā, knowing that He is not after another woman now. But she was curious to know more about Rādhā and why Kṛṣṇa never made plans to visit Vrindavan. Who are these gopīs who loved Kṛṣṇa so much? But Kṛṣṇa evaded her questions, saying, “This is all history. There is no point in talking about it. It was my childhood. In village life, young boys and girls play together. It is different than the life of royalty. Out of fear of Kaṃsa, my father hid me in Vraja. But I have left that life completely.”
Satyabhāmā and the other queens were very curious about the gopis. So she thought, “We should ask Rohiṇī Mātājī” because Rohiṇī was the mother of Balarāma, and she and Devakī, the mother of Kṛṣṇa, were both married to Vasudeva. When Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma were in Vrindavan, Rohiṇī was also there with Yaśodā, and therefore, she had seen Kṛṣṇa’s childhood activities. The queens thought they should ask Rohiṇī Mātājī why Kṛṣṇa reminisced about His childhood play with these village girls. They decided, “We should ask when Kṛṣṇa goes to the assembly house.” Every day, in the morning after breakfast, Kṛṣṇa would go to the assembly house with Balarāma. So at that time, they approached Mother Rohiṇī: “Please, can you tell us about Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma’s childhood activities?” Rohiṇī said, “I will tell you, but you must do one thing. Ask Subhadrā to stand at the gate because They may come here as soon as I speak about Their activities. And I don’t want Them to hear.” She knew that if They heard about Their activities in Vrindavan, They would go into a love-frenzied state of mind because of Their intense love for Vrindavan and the gopīs. And then it would be very difficult to bring Them back to a normal state. Only Subhadrā could stop Them because she is Their sister. The guards, being Their servants, would not dare to stop Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma. So they arranged this with Subhadrā and told her, “Please stand at the gate.”
Then Rohiṇī started speaking about Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma’s childhood activities. First, of course, she was talking about Their pastimes as babies, how Kṛṣṇa used to steal butter, and how They used to play with each other and tend the calves, going behind them. She also talked about how They killed various demons who came to Vrindavan to cause trouble. But the queens were not so much interested in that. They wanted to hear about Their affairs with the gopīs, so they asked, “What about those girls there?” At first, Rohiṇī felt slightly inhibited because she was a mother, and talking about her children’s love affairs was improper. Therefore, she tried to avoid the topic, but this was the real interest of the queens. So she said, “Be very careful because when I start talking, Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma will come here. And if They hear what I say, I don’t know what will happen.”
Already, when Rohiṇī was talking about Their childhood pastimes, Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma were feeling some disturbance. But when she started talking about the gopīs, They became completely disturbed. They could not stay in the assembly hall any longer. They left and went straight to the house of Rohiṇī. Upon arriving there, Subhadrā stopped Them. They asked her, “Why are you standing at the gate?” and she replied, “Well, You are not allowed inside.” They were very surprised to hear this. “Why?” They asked. Then she said, “Rohiṇī is speaking about Your activities in Vrindavan.” As soon as They heard “Vrindavan,” They began to shake and then sat down, trying to listen to what she was saying. By now, Rohiṇī was talking about the gopīs, and when she started to speak about Rādhā, Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma began to cry, and all eight symptoms of love became manifest in Their bodies. They became so overwhelmed with love that Their bodily features changed. It is described that Their hands and legs went inside Their bodies, and the Sudarśana-cakra completely melted and became elongated.
That is the moment when Nārada Rṣi, who was wandering around, came to Dvārakā. And there at the gate, he saw Kṛṣṇa, Balarāma, and Subhadrā—all three—sitting there, completely in another world. Nārada recited prayers to Them, and after a long time, They returned to Their normal state. When Kṛṣṇa saw Nārada Rṣi, He asked, “When did you arrive?” Nārada said, “I’ve just arrived, and I am so happy and thrilled that today, I saw something most amazing.” So They asked him, “What did you see?” Nārada said, “I saw the most amazing state You were in. You were in such a high state of love that Your bodies shrank.” Because Nārada had recited prayers to Them, Kṛṣṇa offered him a boon, to which Nārada Rṣi replied, “This form which I saw, I want You to manifest for the benefit of the people of Kaliyuga.” This form of Kṛṣṇa, Balarāma, Subhadrā, and the Sudarśana-cakra is the form that you see in Jagannatha Puri. This form of Jagannātha is Kṛṣṇa Himself in separation from the gopīs. This shows how much love He has for the gopīs.
Therefore, this love exchange between Kṛṣṇa and His devotees goes both ways; it is not only from one side. Thus when it is said that Kṛṣṇa is the only male and everyone else is female, it should not be understood from our material concept of male and female. This is the most powerful manifestation of love, and in this manifestation, there is no concept of one’s own pleasure. Both Kṛṣṇa and His devotee relish the exchange of love. This is the complete opposite of our concept in the material world, where we only consider our own happiness.
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