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Getting Children to Meet Their Goals
by Steven Rudolph
Sept 8, 2009

As a parent, you may struggle to get your children to do the things you want them to do. Whether it is having them finish their homework on time or tidying their room before guests come, appeals to complete important tasks lead to disappointment with the ‘mission unaccomplished’. Teachers also face a similar problem with their students, who despite being warned how critical an assignment is, fail to deliver the goods when the due date arrives. However, the same kids on different days with similar tasks may wind up completing their work with aplomb. So what went wrong in the first case? Or what went right in the second?

Over the years, I have studied this phenomenon of getting others to perform tasks and the degree of success or failure that accompanies it. What I have concluded is that there are four key elements that are essential in increasing others’ chances of achievement when you assign them a particular responsibility. I call this the G.I.T.A. principle. This acronym stands for Goals, Instructions, Timeframe and Accountability.

Goals
The first question you need to ask is “Is the GOAL clear?” Perhaps you asked your child to “tidy up her room”. This could be interpreted many ways. Do you mean clear the extra articles of clothing off the bed (and floor) and to straighten the bed covers? Or do you also mean to straighten up the desk and to put away books that are not being used. By specifying what the exact goal is, children will know whether they have completed the target or not.

Instructions
The next issue is ensuring children get clear “Instructions”. While their idea of clearing off the bed might include just taking the extra clothes lying about and stuffing them in the closet, your idea might include folding them and putting them away neatly in stacks and hanging them on hangers. If guests are coming and you need assistance in serving them, did you suggest specifically which items they should bring out and serve and which glasses or dishes they should use—or are you just expecting them to read your mind? Often a few extra pointers about “how to get the job done” can go a long way in ensuring children follow the shortest route to the goal.

Timeframe
Even if kids are on the right track, your providing them with a timeframe is important, because they will have a tendency to lose track of time. If you tell them that they must complete their studying by 8:00 pm because your cousin is coming over to visit, they will be in a better position to gauge their time and work with the necessary pace to get the task done before your guests arrive. Be sure to also give gentle reminders along the way that time is ticking away (e.g., “You have 30 more minutes left!”)

Accountability
Last is accountability—that you check on your children to see if they have done what you have asked them to do. I meet far too many parents who are surprised at the end of the year when their children return with poor grades. This is usually not as much a fault of children being irresponsible or incapable, but more a failure of the parents who did not check in on their kids to see if they were doing what they were supposed to be doing along the way. When most kids realize that no one is watching or checking in on them, they tend to slide (what to speak of kids—the same holds for many adults as well!). A brief but consistent check to see if they completed the task you gave them serves as a motivating factor to encourage them to stay focused until the job is done.

Concluding Lines

So the next time you want to give your children a task to complete, remember the G.I.T.A. Principle. Be sure to employ each one of the four points to increase the chances of getting your kids to complete the activity on time, the way you wanted it to be done. If you find that they were unable to do so, go back to the G.I.T.A. points and ask yourself where you might have been delinquent. Perhaps the goal was too vague. Or maybe you did not give clear enough instructions. You might have completely forgotten to mention a timeframe or maybe you did not follow up promptly to ensure accountability. Give it a chance, and discover how this new interpretation of G.I.T.A. can wind up helping you to get your kids to achieve more and demonstrate greater degrees of competence.

 

 
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